Handling Disappointments in Marriage

Posted by Raymund Tamayo

4 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29: 4-7, 11

Disappointments are inevitable in life. But what makes it more painful is when its reason is the one you love. Our spouses can and will disappoint us. Even more so because they are closest to us. It may spark uncertainty, it may shake our trust, and it may even make us wonder if we can rely on them at all.

It is good to realize that this is not an unusual thing. We are not alone, and every married person disappoints or becomes disappointed at their spouses at some point. Feelings of disappointment, hurt, anger, frustration, and confusion when it comes to our spouses are honest and normal. It doesn’t mean we love them less.

However, knowing this fact does not make things easier, right? So here are some guidelines from God’s Word how we can handle disappointments in marriage.

The solution: Practice a God-Centered Perspective.

1. Recognize God’s Sovereignty

We should realize whatever is happening in our marriage relationship, God is still in control. Nothing happens without God’s approval, if only to teach us a lesson, to make us seek Him, or even to accomplish His purpose in all His wisdom.

As followers of Christ, what we should do is surrender to God’s will and pray for our spouses. Because if they improve, if they prosper, we also improve and prosper.

Of course, cases of physical abuse or domestic violence is of a different matter.

2. Rest in God’s Plan

When we acknowledge God’s sovereignty, we trust Him, so we can sincerely rest in His plan. God’s Word says “wives submit to your husbands.” We should trust the Lord regarding this command that He knows what He is saying, even though it doesn’t make sense at first. The same with “husbands love your wives.” We should do this even though there are times the wives seem to be “unlovable”.

Resting in God’s plan is trusting Him.

3. Represent Jesus to the World

Even in marriage, we are still Christ’s ambassadors. We represent Him with the way we treat our spouses. Even when our spouses are also believers in Christ, we should always exemplify to them how it is to follow Jesus.