The Importance of Paying Attention to our Children

Post written by Denielle Tamayo

I was watching an Oprah Winfrey Show rerun when I came across what Oprah usually says as an "Aha Moment" on self-worth.

Her guest then was writer Toni Morrison, the first African-American woman who received a Nobel Prize for Literature.

Ms. Morrison was talking about how a parent could instill self-validity in her children by attending to them with their hearts.

Check out the video here.

"Children value themselves based on others' reaction." 

I am a mother of a 6 year old girl and a 6 month old boy. My prayer is for them to know how God sees and loves them and how He thinks of them through my husband and me... in our home... first of all.

Because when they do, it will not matter what anyone else would say.

They would grow up confident of themselves, realizing their self-worth, and would be able to go through life armed. Yes, there would be bumps and bruises along the way, but they would overcome.

I try every day to consciously value the presence of my children with what they can see, hear, and feel through me (my eyes, facial expression, words, gestures, etc.).

When I walk into a room where they are, when they come into the room where I am, when they want to show me something, when they're talking or trying to communicate with me, or anything that involves anything to enrich our relationship and show how much I love them – I try to be as mindful as possible.

After all, they can never really see my heart unless I pour it out to them in the natural, right?

Again, I found myself watching Ms. Morrison talking about her son when he was little.

She was doing something when the boy came to show his drawing. Without looking at it, she simply said something like, "yes, that's nice." The next thing she knew, the boy tore the drawing in front of her.

A wake up call that somehow said, "I'm hurt. I made this drawing for you and it took me a long while but you're not interested. It's important to me, but not to you, I guess." Hence, the tearing.

Note to self: Pay attention...with everything you have: heart, mind, body, soul and spirit.